i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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