Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
