This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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