walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
