i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
