when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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