dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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