Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
