I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
