Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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