Soap is not a condiment
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
