Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we're so committed to being not committed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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