i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i came on her dog
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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