Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
