I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
