Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
