He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize