I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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