I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
