dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
