Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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