a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
being pregnant is like rehab
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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