Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
