Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
