Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
