but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize