No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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