If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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