What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
