Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Less talking, more tequila
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
