You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
