I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
