how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
