This girl is more easily done than said...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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