i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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