i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
