She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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