You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
