Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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