i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
