so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
