i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
