out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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