So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
