This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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