He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
