I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
