Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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