'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Farmville is her only friend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize