this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hello my rib-scented angel!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
