You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize