You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
