we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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