I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
