And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
