Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
