the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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