I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
