so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
