I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he fucked my hip out of place.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
