I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
