we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
