She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
