Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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