A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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