I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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